Everything I know about leadership I learned from my cats
Well, perhaps not everything. Our new 24×7 at home lifestyle has been revealing some of those personality traits that I thought were exclusively reserved for the office.
Let me explain.
To set the stage, it was lunchtime in the Craver household. The two calicos were sleeping and sunning. The new kitten, Brie, had just woken up and was ready to play – with anything and anyone who looked like they would be remotely fun to play with (so just about everything in the house). Her most favorite object recently is Sundae, our calico #1. Sundae, while quite interested to watch Brie, has zero desire to play with her. Zero.
I had just sat down at the table to eat lunch when I hear Brie come tearing into the family room. Just as I glance up, Brie in full kitten mode, rushes the chair where Sundae is perched. I turn my head as soon as the yowls, hissing, swatting, and growling start.
Then it escalates.
In the aftermath, what I surmise happened was that this tussle between Sundae and Brie resulted in Brie falling off the chair – landing on calico #2, Moka, who was fast asleep in the sun. Moka, our most calm and peaceful kitty, freaked out having been unceremoniously woken up (ack, change!). She begins hissing, growling and swatting. Brie goes from play-mode to frightened-mode in about 2 seconds. Now we have 3 frightened cats – all hissing.
They scatter.
My mom-mode kicks in immediately and the first thing out of my mouth as I’m up and out of my chair is, “WHAT is going on!”
By this time Brie on her way upstairs. The calicos (who are older and don’t move quite as fast) are both barreling towards me, eyes wide like “what the heck just happened?”
Again, in mom-mode: “STOP!”
The calicos freeze which, upon reflection, was quite remarkable seeing as these are two kitties who just went from fight to panicked flight mode.
And that was when I realized, wow – this is what I do at work:
calm everyone down, figure out what caused the ruckus, get everyone back on track.
I tell people that I love leading teams through large-scale software implementations and transformation programs. The complexity, the tumult, the competing agendas and yes, even the delays. It’s a puzzle where I have to manage all these critical elements weaving them together to hit the final date, all the while keeping my teams on track. And helping them through their own freak out moments.
There are MANY of those moments from my team, our stakeholders, my leaders, and, yes, even me.
The key to helping everyone though those moments of panic? Listening. Implementations and organizational change are huge, scary, uncomfortable events. Everyone needs to feel heard.
- I listen to my team. I let them vent, often many times. Then I refocus them back to what comes next. I coach them through how to break it down into chunks. I encourage and empower them to make decisions on how best to accomplish each chunk. (My goal, after all, is for them to be more autonomous). Then I provide meaningful feedback and praise along the way.
- I listen to my stakeholders. I realized early on in my career that change is uncomfortable, especially to those most impacted. I over communicate plans and status. I bring my most vocal and resistant individuals into an advisory group to give them a more exclusive way to stay involved. This extra work typically helps me often turn the most vocal critics into my most ardent champions.
- I listen to my leaders. They are probably receiving feedback from their peers and direct reports (read: uncomfortable stakeholders) about the disruption and the “unreasonable” timelines (because every timeline will be unreasonable to someone). I make sure I understand my leaders’ concerns. If a leader is also a nervous stakeholder, I remain confident in my project approach but also willing to adapt to address key concerns.
Finally – I have to remember to be kind to myself. I always have one or two of my own moments of panic. That’s when I vent to a mentor or friend then walk courageously back into the room and continue leading.
Because leaders set the tone.
My calm, confidence infuses those same sentiments in others, reinforcing that we can accomplish this huge task – as a team.
Back in the Craver household, I proceeded to explain to the calicos that what just happened was a misunderstanding. No one was trying to viciously and maliciously attack anyone. I talked Brie back downstairs, puffed up tail and all. In about 10 minutes everyone was back to sleeping and sunning.
Whew, crisis averted.
And our dog was oblivious through it all. (There’s always going to be one of those, every time!).
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